jeannecstasy:

ASDFGHJKL.

i’m not confident and i hate getting embarassed. like, embarassment is one of the things that really kill me. i can’t stand getting embarassed or embarassing myself because of track. i’m ALWAYS the last one running. apparently, i’m the only one on the team who’s never joined track or xc before this. so basically, i suck. i have absolutely no endurance.

honestly, i want to quit. i want to quit and just go home after school and have a life. [as in slouche on the couch and eat junk food LOL]

but i can’t quit. because if i do, my mom’s gonna be talking about it for the rest of her life. and now that i think about it, quitting would only make everything worse. its only been 4 days, so i’m hoping to get better, stronger, and less lazy. its just that i hate being embarassed. i hate being the only one who finishes last. i hate being alone. everyone else is in front of me and i feel like i’m always one step behind everyone else. i can’t stand being embarassed. i can’t stand it. like, everyone else is like, “no, you shouldn’t be, its okay.” but its not okay. not to me. i care too much about what others think of me. i have a psychological problem.

today doesn’t feel like a friday. but whatever. NO LAPS TODAY!

ONLY SPRINTS. :) woot. i swear, anything is better than laps. all i have to do now is survive the warm ups D:

hello again. :P i’m taking winter track too, so i guess i’ll see you at the meets. (:

and really, you have nothing to worry about. i feel the same way. so many people on the track team at ehs were either in xc or had experience, and i felt like absolutely nothing compared to everyone else. but later on, i reminded myself that i was taking track for myself, so i shouldn’t have to care about what anyone else thought of my fail running ability.

i seriously felt like quitting track earlier this week, but i knew that i would regret it if i did. i thought about how much i could improve by the end of the season and that was what convinced me not to quit. so you shouldn’t quit either, because i know that you can do more than what you think you can do.

of course you’ll feel embarrassment, because it’s only natural. but you have nothing to be embarrassed about. no one will think badly of you for not being the best. you’ll improve no matter what, you can only get better. believe in yourself a little more. (: